Day of Disgrace
by Zoicytes-Shadow
Summary: challenge from the general Artemis Fowl forum. Really, don't even bother.


**This is a challenge from the general Artemis Fowl forum. I added Devi in a tribute to a collaboration story I am working on with another author.**

**Dsiclaimer: Devi is mine. That's it.**

**Challenge   
Plotline: Artemis accidentally falls down a lava chute. How did this come to happen?  
Must include:  
somebody hastily concealing champagne as they realise not everyone is happy about it  
somebody attempting to jump down and follow him, for whatever reason  
a busker  
a pizza shop  
Root yelling at at least 5 people**

Opal Koboi glanced down nervously. "It's really quite dangerous. Perhaps we should inform the authorities?"

Holly shook her head vehemently. "No way, Koboi! We're waiting right here until someone comes to clean up this mess of yours!" She yanked the handcuffs in emphasis. Opal winced, the pain surging through her raw wrists, but made no sound. Artemis vaguely approved as he bent down to examine the largve lava chute entrance. "Truly remarkable, what degrees must have been sustained for so long."

Holly rolled her eyes. "Yeah yeah. Whatever, Fowl. You're no better in my book than Koboi after today's scheme. We'll have you arrested, you just wait! As soon as the clearance comes up, you'll be in Howler's peak with her before you can say fairy gold!"

With every word, Holly's temper began to rise, until she was almost willing Artemis to slip. Right on cue, he fell into the lava chute.

"YES!" Holly cheered, bringing out a bottle of champagne. "Who wants a drink?"

Opal and Butler glared daggers at her. She hastily stuffed the drink away.

Butler tied a rope to the near tree, lunging down after his principal. Holly watched with a sudden vehement look in her eyes. Opal backed away. "It would be a shame if this rope were to...break."

Opal's eyes widened, and then narrowed. "You wouldn't!"

"I've had about enough of them, and you too for that matter! Once they're trapped in Haven, they'll HAVE to be locked away!" With a quick flip of her neutrino from it's holster, the rope was cut, sliding rapidly down the chute. Holly turned back to Opal. "As for you..."

Opal weighed her chances, and grinned. "I'll go with them. I'm coming, Artemis!"

In retrospect, it wasn't the greatest idea she ever had, but it was certainly a lot less fatal than staying up there with Holly, who had finally snapped. Besides, she knew the next transport wouldn't be for another half an hour at least. That would give her plenty of time to...do whatever it was she was going to do.

She fell into a large object, moving around to find it was Butler.  
"You! You cut the rope!"

"It wasn't me! Holly finally snapped! She cut it and was going to cut me too! Where's Artemis?"  
"Why do you care?"

"We're now fugitives with one fate in mind. I think we can at least agree to cooperate for a little while."  
Butler was obviously still suspicious, but stayed silent.

A few minutes later they crashed into a shuttle, sliding off onto the paved surface of Haven Expressways.

Opal opened her eyes to see Artemis rubbing his head. "We have to get back up to the surface. We don't stand a chance down here."

"Well, the next shuttle is-hey, wait! That one's empty!"

They all turned as one and frantically leapt at the giant tourist model, arriving just before Chix, who was scheduled to oversee it's maintenance.

"Hey! You're the Fowl boy! And, you're that big giant of his! And-Koboi! What are you-"  
The rest of Chix's frantic garble was cut off as Opal slapped palm into his face, effectively knocking him unconcious.  
"I always wanted to do that. Come on!"

Artemis scrambled into one of the passenger seats, Butler managing toget in, taking up at least five of the seats as Opal began the craft.

"Such a primitive model! It's highly likely that I could-"  
"Miss Koboi! If you please!" Artemis shouted, noticing the horde of LEP now running towards them.

"Alright! Hold onto your little seatbelt, Fowl!"  
The shuttle sped off at a tremendous speed, passing over the head of an unlucky busker as it flew upwards, knocking him over.

As the LEP attempted to give chase, the man attacked them brutally with his juggling balls, apparently under the impression they were coming to rob him.

Opal snickered.

Root attempted to keep his temper down. "Tell me."

"Well, Artemis landed in Haven."  
"THE MUD BOY LANDED IN HAVEN!"

A sprite secretary stuck her head in the door. "Sir, a group of LEP have reported a stolen hovercraft."  
"WHAT? WHY NOW!"

One of the officers, randomly decided in a game of rock paper scissors, walked in to deliver the news.  
"Sir, it appears we've discovered the identity of the shutle thieves. It was Artemis Fowl and Opal Koboi, sir."  
"HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN!"  
He hastily backed away as the computer monitor regained Root's attention with a loud beeping sound.

"Traced Shuttle has landed aboveground."

"NO! WHY NOW! WHY ME!"

Foaly shrugged, watching all this with poorly disguised amusement. "You have the worst luck..."

"ASSIGN OUR TOP AGENTS ON THIS, PONY BOY!"

The shuttle landed in a grassy field. No one was around when they jumped out, taking off for the nearest building.

Which happened to be a familiar pizza shop. The owner looked up at the sudden mess of people entering the shop, raising a purple shadowed eye. "Hi, Opal. Don't tell me you want more stuff?"

Opal stoppedto catch her breath. "No, Devi, actually, we're here to pay off the stuff I bought before!"  
"You are?" Devi's tone was skeptical.

Artemis was somehow quite fine with the woman having dragon wings, tacking it up to the insanity of the day in general.

"Fine. You three, get in the uniforms and I won't tell whoever it is a single word."

A few minutes later, a strange lookin gperson, and that was to the dragon womans standards, walked in the shop.  
"Hello, I am looking for three people. Has anyone entered here recently?"  
"No." Devi stated. The person looked at her a moment longer.

Something in her pupil-less eyes flashed. The person stumbled back a bit. "Uh, sorry to have bothered you ma'm."

Devi watched the figure dissapear into the distance.  
"Someday I'm going to want to know this story!" She called into the back. "But for now, you three just keep washing dishes!"

Artemis sighed, breaking the fifth dish so far. "How long are we going to be doing this menial labor?"  
"As long as I want you to!" Devi growled.

The three of them increased the dishwashing pace. Opal sighed. "Next time, I'm asking for more money from you."


End file.
